Episode: 336 - If Everyoneā€™s Broke, Why Are Restaurants Packed?
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In an age dominated by social media and consumer culture, it often feels like we're living in a paradox. While newspaper headlines and economic reports frequently highlight financial struggles, a quick glance at a bustling restaurant, a sold-out concert, or an Instagram feed replete with new car purchases tell a different story. So, are people really struggling, or is there more beneath the surface of this apparent disparity?
The Disconnect Between Perception and Reality
Many of us have experienced that moment of confusion: scrolling past friends’ posts from lavish events or seeing them with new possessions, while the media screams of financial crises. This seeming disconnect raises a compelling question about the nature of financial perception and reality. Why do these packed venues and expensive endeavors persist, despite claims of financial difficulty?
Examining the Underlying Factors
Credit Reliance and YOLO Culture: A recurring theme among individuals is the reliance on credit cards, driven by a 'You Only Live Once' (YOLO) mentality. This approach can lead to temporary financial relief but often results in long-term debt. The ease of swiping a card cultivates a cycle of immediate gratification at the expense of future stability.
The Influence of Social Media: Social media plays a pivotal role in shaping our desires and perceptions. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok create a highlight reel of experiences, leading many to yearn for similar lifestyles. The compulsion to keep up with these curated lives can lead to increased spending, funded by credit rather than disposable income.
The Allure of Instant Gratification: The concept of instant gratification means that the appeal of immediate pleasure often outweighs the distant rewards of financial prudence. This bias towards the present encourages spending on short-term desires rather than saving for long-term goals.
The Reality of Financial Struggles
While it's clear that not everyone is struggling, the rising credit card debt suggests that many are living beyond their means, driven by societal pressures and personal biases. Conversations with individuals reveal a mix of regret and realization, as some reflect on past decisions that prioritized immediate desires over future security.
Living Beyond Means: It's possible to project an image of financial success while privately grappling with debt. Some individuals prioritize particular experiences or possessions, sacrificing other financial priorities in the process.
Consequences of Financial Decisions: The cost of living continues to rise, and for some, the thought of securing a financially stable future seems out of reach. This notion fuels a cycle where people indulge in "doom spending," prioritizing today's happiness, sometimes at the expense of tomorrow's stability.
Finding Balance in Financial Decisions
The key to navigating this paradox lies in finding a balance between enjoying life’s pleasures and securing a stable future. Financial stability doesn't have to mean a life devoid of enjoyment—it means making intentional choices that align with one’s overarching life goals.
Setting Clear Financial Goals: Begin by defining what financial success looks like to you. Whether it's owning a home, saving for retirement, or experiencing travel, having clear goals can guide your spending decisions and priorities.
Emphasizing Delayed Gratification: Practice delayed gratification by identifying areas where immediate desires can be substituted with long-term rewards. This mindset shift can lead to more fulfilling financial and personal outcomes.
Understanding the Role of Social Influence: Recognize the impact of social media and societal norms on your financial decisions. Be mindful of prioritizing personal aspirations over perceived societal expectations.
In conclusion, while it may seem like the world is split between financial despair and extravagant spending, the reality is more nuanced. By embracing intentional spending habits and being mindful of societal influences, you can pave a path towards financial well-being without sacrificing life's joys.
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Brad Nelson:
Hey, so have you ever driven past a packed restaurant and thought I thought everyone was broke or struggling? How are these things so busy? Or maybe you've scrolled past friends posting from concerts or in new cars and wondered how they're affording it. You're not alone. In this episode, we dive into the disconnect between people claiming to struggle and the spending that says otherwise. Now I asked this question on social media and the responses were raw and revealing. From credit card debt to YOLO culture. We're unpacking what's really going on and how you can stay grounded amid the chaos. Stay tuned.
Announcer:
You're listening to the Debt-Free Dad podcast with Brad Nelson. Brad and his co-hosts experience the anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck before learning the fundamentals of financial success. They are now on a mission to empower regular people to pay off their debt for good and enjoy happier, less stressful lives. Keep listening for inspirational interviews, tips, tricks and practical advice to gain financial freedom.
Brad Nelson:
Hey guys, welcome to today's show. I'm Brad Nelson, the founder of Debt-Free Dad. I paid off about $45,000 of debt. I've been debt-free now for more than 12 years. I've also helped thousands of other people save and pay off tens of millions of dollars with the work that we do here at Debt-Free Dad.
Amber Taylor:
And I'm Amber Taylor. My husband and I saved and paid off $54,000 in 20 months, and we've been living debt-free outside of our mortgage since 2018.
Ryan Nelson:
And my name is Ryan Nelson. My wife and I paid off $160,000 over eight years while raising three kids.
Brad Nelson:
Now, after listening to this episode, you guys, if you're ready to take things to the next level, you're ready to break free from living paycheck to paycheck, you want to reduce financial stress, build your savings and finally pay off debt for good, but again, you're not sure where to get started. We've created some incredible free resources here at Debt Free Dad to help you get there, and I'll be sharing some more details about that later on in today's episode. So I know Ryan and Amber. You guys know the social media posts that stirred up this episode and I asked the question. In fact, it was a TikTok and I also posted it on Instagram and Facebook.
Brad Nelson:
I've been thinking this for a while and we are always hearing news. Obviously, we know the statistics of money and personal finance. It's the number one thing that we stress about. The majority of people are living paycheck to paycheck. The majority of people can't handle a $500 emergency expense without going into debt. It's one of the number one causes of divorce and money fights and relationships and money is a very tough topic for a lot of people.
Brad Nelson:
But if you go out into the world and again, depending on where you live and the situations that you're in, you might see different things, but it's just apparent to me you know, why is everything so busy? I mean, you look at restaurants. You look at movie theaters. You look at I mean heck, these concerts even. And concerts just blow my mind because of how expensive they've gotten. I mean you can't go to, like, a headlining concert without spending minimum of a hundred, sometimes hundreds of dollars to get a ticket to even go to the show. You look at sporting events heck, even college or professional sporting events. I mean it just seems like the popularity of these, even though people are struggling, it's not going away. In fact, I feel like it's getting even bigger and sometimes it's even harder longer waits at restaurants and you don't get tickets to go to the show.
Brad Nelson:
And you look at social media. You look at what the news is saying. You look at what conversations people are having and everyone's saying that everyone is struggling so bad. Well, if that's the case, why the heck are these places so busy? So I'm interested. We're going to go through, because we had thousands of comments on this, this post. It blew up pretty quick and we had a lot of interesting feedback, in fact, so much so that we had to use AI to go through and evaluate what everybody was saying because there's so many comments it was impossible to kind of go through them all.
Brad Nelson:
But I'm just interested in what you guys think, because I'm sure you guys have those feelings Again, Amber especially. You know you live in Canada, you're in a completely different country, you know, ryan, you're in Tennessee, completely different place in the United States than I am. What are you guys seeing and what are your guys' thoughts with this?
Amber Taylor:
Well, I mean, I'm seeing prices go up, but I'm also seeing people still going out and doing things, and I'm in sales. And I was talking to a friend last night and I said, yeah, I haven't had a lot of events lately, but the ones that I am having, holy crap, people are spending money. And she was like, really, I thought everyone was being so frugal and not spending as much money and watching their. I'm like, uh-uh, that's not what's happening, that's not what I'm seeing. I don't know why. Like they're just going into debt, like what's going on?
Brad Nelson:
That was what I kept hearing. Is that well, I shouldn't say kept. It wasn't the I don't think the biggest comment that we had, but it was pretty common is well, you know what Things are bad? I'm going to spend money and enjoy my life, or I'm going to go into debt and enjoy my life because I can't take it with me, Right? So are people just like we've talked about on this show? Are they in this doom spending mode where it's like, well, they've bought into the fact that there is no hope, Everything's crumbling, so why not live now? That was definitely some feedback we got.
Ryan Nelson:
Yeah, it's interesting this week's newsletter that came out yesterday. It's one of the key things about why people don't want to get started on their finances, and it's really this concept about what's called present bias and this was totally me when I was in debt. It is so much easier and so much more rewarding to do something in the moment than to do things that are going to pay off in five or 10 or 15 or 20 years. I think it's just a human nature thing of like I am feeling bad and if I go do this thing and spend money, I will feel good and I can do that now, whereas if I don't do that thing and I save my money, I'll feel good, but it won't be for, like I said in my opening, it took us eight years to get out of debt. Now, did we do things along the way? Sure, but there was a lot of sacrifice and it was not super fun during that time of getting out of debt. So if you don't have that ability to see yourself to kind of really have that at the end of this, you're going to be able to do way more things than what you can right now. I think you just get stuck in this moment of I'm just going to keep fulfilling this need that I have to feel good right now. I worked hard all week. I deserve to go out to dinner and spend $200 or go out to the bar, or I worked hard all year I deserve to go on this vacation that we really can't afford.
Ryan Nelson:
It's just that kind of feeling of we're just constantly rewarding ourselves and I do think it goes to the climate we live in. I don't know how it is like in Canada, but the climate that we live in, it seems like nobody cares about money. So I'm not going to care about money. It's almost like I'm going to just do what everyone else is doing and I'll worry about it later. You know, yeah, that used to be us. I totally get it. I totally get the mindset I could have cared less about anything for my future. In the past I was just like yeah, we'll go to Disney again for the fifth time in a row and we have no money to do it. We're just going to charge it. I don't care, like, because we just going to go and feel good.
Brad Nelson:
So I totally get the mindset of that side of it where it's just like live in the moment, live in the now mindset of that side of it where it's just like live in the moment, live in the now, and do you think, like you were talking about the climate or what society is? Do you think a lot of that is put on us, to us because of we're so instant gratification now no-transcript. Are we just so groomed into this? I want this now because it makes me feel good now and we're getting so much further away from this thing called delayed gratification where it's like I need to put in the work now so I can have what I want later. And people who are saying I don't want to do that are saying like you only live once, like why wouldn't I live right now and why would I wait?
Ryan Nelson:
something happens to me I don't ever get to have that one big thing that I was working towards. I'm going to do all these little things, you know. Yeah, I think if you look at over the last, you know, if you look at the history of credit cards and the history of getting people to spend money, I mean I think that's been the goal all along. If you just look at the last 10 years and the evolution of just all the different ways that they separate you from your money, there's so much I mean, there's billions and billions of dollars wrapped is how do I get you to buy this thing that you don't really need or really really want? But I'm going to make you want it and you're going to do it anyway.
Amber Taylor:
Well and then they get it that same day right.
Ryan Nelson:
Yeah, yeah, I mean, there's no more waiting anymore. Yeah. You know, I mean I can go right now anywhere I want and buy pretty much anything. I mean I can buy a dog and put it on payments. I could buy a tattoo and put it on payments. There's nothing that I can't go and buy to fill the urge right this second.
Amber Taylor:
Yeah, and then once you have it, you have it right. If you waited and you saved, it might get to a point where, like well, you know what, that's not really important to me. And something else came up.
Brad Nelson:
Yeah, correct. Well, and I think the other thing too is that plays a huge role into this is social media in itself. For instance, ryan, you mentioned Disney, like Universal, just opened up their new theme park called Epic, and it looks pretty freaking awesome. You know, I watched a couple of videos on it this past weekend. I didn't know it was, I knew it was open. I didn't know it was open yet. I think it's. I don't know, maybe it's not officially open yet, but by the time this episode airs, I'm sure it will be. But I watched just a couple videos of it and all of a sudden, I'm seeing this on my feed all the time. Guess what I did? I went to the Universal's website. I was like I wonder how much they're actually charging to get tickets for this.
Brad Nelson:
You see, I think in this day and age we are so, especially when it comes to algorithms and things that we're consuming. We're so consumed by seeing what other people are doing in their lives, seeing where they're on vacation, seeing the stuff that they're buying, seeing the things that they're experiencing, or, as opposed to like when shoot, when we were kids, like the only way that we knew about anything that was happening with any of this kind of stuff was if you watch TV really, and if you had maybe one or two friends, that maybe went on experience it. But now, with social media, you've got thousands of so-called friends on social media right, where you're seeing a lot more of this stuff in your face, and is that causing a lot of us, a lot more of us, to say I want to experience this, I want to do this, I want to be a part of it?
Amber Taylor:
I think so. I think it's pushing us to want more and more and more.
Brad Nelson:
It's huge. Like you look at TikTok shop and all these different things. And again it's huge. Like you look at TikTok shop and all these different things. And again, concerts you look at concerts. You know, like the whole Taylor Swift thing last year, how crazy that got with her tour and how popular she was on social media and how many people were spending thousands of dollars on tickets to go to that show. And I mean, again, not all artists compare to that, but it's similar.
Brad Nelson:
You know where these artists get a buzz or they go viral and all of a sudden I got to go do this or I got to do that thing. Heck. You look at the NFL, I mean you look at pro sports If it's a popular game, I mean everything is just so hyped. And you got to be a part of the experience and you know, I think there's a lot of people buying into that. But I want to go through some of these comments, you guys and again we got a lot of them. It's probably gonna be impossible to kind of go through every single one of them, but here's just a couple of things that people had said and again we had to put this through AI to kind of tell us, like, what are the popular trends that you're seeing with all of these comments? And here are some of the things that people said.
Brad Nelson:
One said I believe that there are so many people here not everyone is actually going to these things, so is actually going to these things. So what they're saying is like it might look like everyone's doing it and they could be right. A lot of people are probably still at home, right, but they tend to pick the event that they really want, they said, and pass on the rest. So they're being mindful, and maybe some people are. They're saying I want to go to that football game or I want to go to that concert, but then they're not doing anything else.
Brad Nelson:
That was one person's feedback. Another person said people don't know how to be poor. They spend all this money and then say I'm broke. No, you spend money on your dumb beep, which I think you know. Again, I think there's a lot of people who probably fall into that category. Another person said just because they are broke in their banks doesn't mean that the credit cards are being maxed out. And he says, yeah, right, and that's true. I mean, credit card debt is at an all-time high. It's never been as high as it has been right now.
Ryan Nelson:
You just need to realize and this was us you can look like you have it all going for you and not have a dime to your name for the most part. Yeah, and that was us. We had nice house, new cars, vacations, all of it and behind closed doors we were freaking out that we had $20 in our checking account until the next payday, and I think that that is what gets lost all the time is people assume that well, if my neighbor's doing it, it means I can do it Right, and I was the neighbor doing it and I should have had no business doing it financially. Yeah, can do it right, and I was the neighbor doing it and I should had no business doing it financially, you know it's not just the neighbor anymore either, though it's like your friend in another city, you know yes yes
Brad Nelson:
yeah, here's a couple more. I go into debt to have fun, because it sucks, just to pay bills. Uh, another one we're supposed to just stay locked in the house and cry all day, or what? Lol. Another person says doom spending. So you know they're bringing up doom spending. Another person Interesting Distraction is a hell of a drug, so yeah, yeah.
Brad Nelson:
Yeah, very much. So If you're stressed, life is hard. Yeah, spending money can be that easy thing that makes you feel good, that instant gratification. So yeah, spending money can be that easy thing that makes you feel good, that instant gratification, so true. Another person says I think people are so stressed out they don't even care anymore. I guess some people figured I'm going to die anyway. Might as well enjoy life while you can.
Amber Taylor:
Yep YOLO.
Brad Nelson:
Yep, yep, I can understand that Sarah passed away several years ago and I struggle with that too. Now, having someone so close to you pass away at such a young age, it's like you do come face to face with that reality of like you might be young but you just never know when your name is going to be called Right, you just never know when your time is going to be up. So it can be easy to get sucked into some of that. It can get easy to be like what the hell does any of this matter anymore, right?
Ryan Nelson:
And we've talked about on the show. You know, finding that balance of you only live once we're going to enjoy life. But also, hey, we also got to take care of our stuff too. I get it, but you have a very, very high percent chance of getting to the point where you're in your 70s, especially as our age increases. Again, this used to totally be me.
Ryan Nelson:
I never cared, but you got to really ask yourself do you want to be the person that's 75 or 80 years old, waking up to go to a 40-hour-a-week job because you wanted to have fun when you were in your 30s and 40s and 50s and 60s and you just didn't care Because, is it 100% possible that something could happen? Yes, it happened to our mom. She was only 57. I'm 50. I get it, it's on the back of my mind, but there's also a high chance that that's not going to happen. And I don't want to be sitting there at a store being a greeter at Walmart or something at 75 because I just decided to have fun. Now, if I wanted to go do that for extra money, hey cool. But I don't want to be forced into that decision because I wanted to go do these other irresponsible things now, and I think that's just a piece that.
Ryan Nelson:
I think it's just it's hard to get over that. But I think, especially when you're young, I know, when you're young, I know, when you're young it doesn't seem like. It seems like 50 and 60 are so far off. But this is the older, wiser people it's like you blink a few times and suddenly it's like holy, you know, in my mind I'm still 26, yeah, um, but it's just not reality. I mean, it's gonna go by quicker than you think. So, yeah, I would challenge you to think differently on that.
Brad Nelson:
Well, you're absolutely right. There's a lot of people that I've spoken with, in fact, a friend of mine and he has a friend. He's older though, he's in his seventies, and he knows that I do this for a living. And one of the first things that we talked about was you know, he saw my hat and he said what do things that he regretted is that he's like Brad, I've always made six figures. He's like I always had a really good living. He was a car salesman and he's actually shared a lot about the car business, which has been interesting, just kind of learn about it. But he did say he's like one thing I never did. I never looked at my future and said I need to put some of this money away. He's like I always kind of lived in the now and it hit me in the face Like it's a completely different lifestyle than what I was living before. And there's so many people who do live who have come to us and said that like I just didn't pay attention, I didn't put money away. If I had to go back and start all over again, I would do it. And you're absolutely right. I mean people are living longer. People do have a better chance of living longer than, say, versus dying young, right, but again, it's like those experiences you have All of us have those experiences or know people that have passed away young and sometimes we can set this bias of like what if that was me? And then we start to say like, well, I'm going to live my life that way because I'm expecting to die young, you know. So you got to be careful a little bit with that mindset.
Brad Nelson:
Another individual says I'm struggling, but I want my chicken nuggets. Man, it's $4. Let me have this Right, and that was one thing I will say. And again, I worry about my kids, as I'm sure you guys worry about kids and how they're going to afford life. I mean, you look at housing and how expensive things are right now and I kind of wonder. It's like man, I know adults, like growing adults who have full time incomes that are either trying to get a house or struggling to afford the house that they're in or whatever property taxes, and it's like I worry about my kids and being able to afford some of those things. And so many people had said I'll never be able to buy a house, I'm never going to get there, so why even bother? Focusing on the future and again, similar to what this person said, I want my $4 chicken nuggets right. Another person said you can be financially stable sitting at home ready to die, or unstable.
Ryan Nelson:
Be financially stable sitting at home ready to die or unstable out enjoying life Interesting. And this just goes back to that concept that if you are financially stable and you are, you know, responsible with your finances, that somehow means like you don't enjoy life, you're boring, you don't buy anything, you don't go anywhere, you don't do anything, all you worry about is counting your pennies, and it's like that couldn't be further from the truth. Don't go to the store on a whim anymore and spend 500 bucks because I just am bored, it's. The only difference is I'm very intentional about what we do with our money now, instead of just randomly doing it and then being like I have no money Because you're buying stupid stuff. Don't buy stupid stuff.
Brad Nelson:
Yeah, I totally agree and I think it goes back to what we were saying. You know, I mean, I think so many people are just consumed with social media, what's going on on social media. They're consumed and influenced by what other people are doing that they tend to just not have any sort of direction in their life or what they need or what they want, and without direction, it's stressful. You know, you're always feeling like it's not enough. You're always feeling like you're not going to have enough, you're not getting enough experiences. But the reality is is once you put together a direction of your life and you say these are the financial goals, this is where I want to live, this is what retirement looks like for me, this is what I want for my kids, and you're steadfast in that, you have a solid foundation of what that means to you, the rest of the stuff doesn't matter, you guys, it just doesn't matter. Like it's so easy to ignore so much of the noise out there and not let it get to you, because you know what you want and you're focused on getting it.
Brad Nelson:
So, guys, in wrapping this up, I just really there were also people who commented and said you know, I'm not struggling, I am doing well and I think it's fair to say that some people aren't. Some people are doing well. I'm not struggling, but again, it's not because I just have this fortune given to me, but it's because of all the hard work that we've done and the good times and the bad over the last 15 years. And I think that's where, for a lot of people who are also doing similar work, they commented like this person says, I make $1.2 million a year and I don't get my nails done, I don't get Botox, I don't color my hair twice a year, I go on no vacations, and they say that they do this just to stay debt-free and they say F, debt is what they say. Now I think this is a little extreme man.
Amber Taylor:
If you're making $1.2 million, go on a vacation man.
Brad Nelson:
This is a little extreme for me. Have some fun, you're allowed to, you don. That's a little extreme for me. Like, have some fun, like you're allowed to. Like, you don't need to make $1.2 million to stay debt-free. Okay, right, I think this is on the yeah, the extreme side. Go, have some fun, you can enjoy life. You've deserved that right. Another person says we stopped traveling when we stopped using credit cards and focused on debt pay down. They're at almost $50,000 paid off and they say it's so worth it.
Amber Taylor:
It is worth the sacrifice, though, like when you sacrifice some of that stuff at the beginning, man, it's worth it. But now, once we're debt free, like we can save and have those fun travels and have those fun experiences and not come home and go, oh, now I gotta pay this off, you know, because we saved and paid for it so you can still have fun and still be living good, right?
Brad Nelson:
Yeah, absolutely. Another person says not everyone is struggling. Some of us are doing just fine, enjoying life. And then another person said some people are living paycheck to paycheck on $120,000 a year, which is absolutely true, and others living on Social Security have money to spare. It's all about lifestyle and it's so, so true.
Brad Nelson:
So, again, I think the point of today's episode, guys, is just to be mindful of the things that you're seeing out there and don't be influenced by what you're seeing. If restaurants are packed and concerts are full and sporting events are full, how are these people doing? It's easy to say that I'm not keeping up, I'm not able to do the things everyone wants to do. Again, focus on what your financial goals are, what your savings, what your debt payoff plans are, the life that you want to live, and again your life becomes less anxious, less stressful, because you're not trying to keep up with what everybody else is doing. All right, guys, if you're ready to break free from living paycheck to paycheck, you want to reduce financial stress, you want to build savings and finally pay off debt for good, but again you're not sure where to start. Don't worry, we've got you covered.
Brad Nelson:
Simplify my Money is sent to you each Sunday to your email. It is your step-by-step roadmap to better financial control, and you're also going to learn easy-to-follow strategies to manage your money effectively. It's stress-free money decisions also that are going to help you simplify your financial life with proven tips that actually work, and you're going to gain the tools and confidence to tackle your financial goals head-on. Sign up for a. Simplify my Money by clicking the link at the top of that may be. Let's talk about death.
Amber Taylor:
Let's talk about death. Tune into Death.
Ryan Nelson:
Free Death Tune into Death Free.
Amber Taylor:
Death. And that's on me. It's time for the celebrations of the show. First, we have Heather. Well, it's been 21 days since I've used my personal credit cards. The challenge is real and extremely difficult, but I'm working on it.
Brad Nelson:
Yeah, that's awesome. 21 days is a great stretch. Awesome job, Misty says our win for the week is that we were able to buy shorts for the kids with cash. This week I did use my Target card to save the extra 5%. However, I will pay that off later today. I am very cautious about earning rewards and cash back by using my cards due to the increased risk of overspending and then not paying the card off in full, which is awesome. But I went into Target for shorts and came out with less pairs than I planned to buy. My kids both had growth spurts over the fall and winter. I know how those go. And she says the accountability of the Roots group is wonderful.
Ryan Nelson:
Awesome job, Misty of the Roots group is wonderful. Awesome job, misty, camille. $500 until my student loan is completely paid off, and I just booked a three-week trip to Japan and paid cash for all of it thanks to the sinking fund I had for that specific expense. I can't remember the last time I paid for a big purchase without using a credit card, if ever. And man for me, I remember when we started getting out of debt and we paid for a vacation in full for the first time. It was just a completely different feeling of going on vacation knowing that it was already paid for. So awesome job, awesome.
Brad Nelson:
Hey guys, as always, congratulations to all of you guys who are taking a stand for your financial life and you're wanting better. Hey, again, we get that. Getting out of debt isn't easy, but with our help and with your consistency and discipline, we promise you guys, this can be some of the best work that you do in your entire life. Thanks for joining us on today's show and we will see you guys on the next episode.
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