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Episode: 372 - Struggling to Save? Start Here.

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Why Saving Money Feels Impossible, And How to Build a System That Actually Works

Most people want to save more money. They want breathing room. They want to stop stressing over the next bill or surprise expense. Yet saving is the one habit that feels impossible to stick with.

If you’ve ever felt like you “should” be saving but simply can’t seem to get ahead, you’re not broken. You’re human. And no one taught you how to build a simple system that works in real life.

Why Saving Feels So Hard

Saving money often feels boring, restrictive, or pointless, especially when you're living paycheck to paycheck. Many people think, “What’s the point of saving five or ten dollars? It won’t make a difference.”

But the real problem isn’t the amount.
The real problem is the habit.

And habits grow through repetition, not size.

Most of us were raised to believe that bills come first. You pay everyone else, and whatever scraps are left at the end of the month are “savings.” But the sad truth is that most months don’t leave anything left over. It’s not a math problem. It’s a system problem.

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Instead of saving whatever is left, successful savers learn to pay themselves first.

Even if it’s a tiny amount.

Saving isn’t something that magically happens once you earn more. In fact, most people earning more money simply spend more. The key is building a habit today, even if it feels small.

  • Start with $20 a month.
  • Tightening up grocery shopping and using cash envelopes.
  • sell items around the home and tightening spending for 30 days.

Where to Find Money to Save

You don’t need a raise to start saving. You need awareness. Here are the places real people consistently find extra money:

  • Food costs — Planning meals, shopping with a list, not shopping hungry, and cooking at home for 30 days.
  • Subscriptions — Many households have $50 to $100 a month in forgotten charges.
  • Selling things — From clothing to tools to kids’ items, most homes have hundreds of dollars sitting on shelves.
  • Wants vs. needs — Pausing nonessential spending for even one month can create massive traction.
  • Micro-saving — Rounding down bank accounts, keeping change, and transferring small amounts adds up faster than expected.

You don’t need dramatic sacrifices, just consistent awareness.

Build a Saving Habit With Simple Systems

Saving becomes easier when you make it automatic and fun. Here are proven ways to keep the momentum going:

1. Automate It

Set a small amount to transfer to savings every paycheck. Even $10 matters. Out of sight, out of mind works in your favor.

2. Make It Harder to Access

Some people open a savings account at a different bank with no instant transfers. This forces you to pause before spending.

3. Gamify It

Savings charts, stickers, competitions with your partner, or “no-spend challenges” can make saving exciting. You’re more likely to stick with something when it feels rewarding.

4. Grow Slowly

Start small, then add to it when life allows. The habit matters more than the number.

The Power of Small Wins

One of the most surprising truths in personal finance is this:

Small, consistent savings often grow faster than large, inconsistent efforts.

When you build the habit, stress goes down. Confidence goes up. Emergencies become inconveniences instead of disasters. And eventually, your savings becomes the foundation for debt freedom, investing, and long-term security.

Saving isn’t about perfection. It’s about building a system that works with your life, not against it.

Start small. Start today. Your future self will be grateful you did.


Resources

The Totally Awesome Debt Freedom Planner https://www.debtfreedad.com/planner

Connect With Brad

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Transcript

Brad Nelson:  

So, if you've ever said that you'll start saving when things calm down or once I make a little bit more money, I hate to break it to you. That time is never going to come. There's always going to be something competing for your money. But here is the good news you don't need a lot of money to start saving. You just need the habit. In today's episode, we're going to be talking about why most people struggle to save, how to build a simple saving system that actually sticks, and how to make saving fun again. Because once you build the habit, even in small ways, everything in your financial life can begin to change.

Announcer:  

You're listening to the Debt Free Dad podcast with Brad Nelson. Brad and his co-hosts experience the anxiety of living paycheck to paycheck before learning the fundamentals of financial success. They are now on a mission to empower regular people to pay off their debt for good and enjoy happier, less stressful lives. Keep listening for inspirational interviews, tips, tricks, and practical advice to gain financial freedom.

Brad Nelson:  

Hey guys, welcome to today's show. I am Brad Nelson, founder of Def Free Dead. I paid off about $45,000 of debt. I've been debt-free now for more than 12 years. I've also been fortunate to help thousands of other people save and pay off tens of millions of dollars with the work that we do here at Def FreeDad.

Amber Taylor:  

And my name is Amber Taylor, and myself and my husband saved and paid off over $54,000 in just 20 months and have been living debt-free outside of our mortgage since 2018.

Chris Hawkins:  

And I am Chris Hawkins, and my wife and I started our journey 20 years ago in 2005. And over a three-year period, we paid off just under $100,000 in debt. And we have been debt-free except for our mortgage ever since.

Kati Hatfield:  

And I'm Katie Hatfield, and I am still on my journey to debt freedom. And in the last seven years, on a single income, I have paid off $237,660 in student loans, car loans, medical bills, and credit card debt.

Brad Nelson:  

Now, guys, after listening to this episode, if you are ready to take things to the next level, you're ready to break free from living paycheck to paycheck. You want to reduce financial stress, you want to build a savings, finally pay off your debt for good. But again, maybe you're not quite sure where to get started. Heck, that's why you might be listening to this show. We've also created some incredible free resources to help you get started, and we'll be sharing some details about how you can get some of those later on in today's episode. So, guys, today we're talking about one of my most favorite topics to talk about because I used to be terrible at saving money. And I think most people who live paycheck to paycheck, people who get started on the road to getting out of debt, saving is a habit that you have to create. And I can relate to a lot of people who are like, man, no matter what I do, no matter what I try, I just can't save any money. Can you guys relate to that when you first started?

Amber Taylor:  

It's almost like it felt impossible or it felt not worth it because you know I might have five or ten dollars at the end of the week kind of thing. So it almost felt not even worth it to save. And so we just didn't bother.

Chris Hawkins:  

For me, it was the idea that, well, you've got to pay the mortgage, you've got to pay this, you've got to pay this, you've got to pay this, and you go down the list, you do a budget. And there's certain things that you kind of have to do. And in my mindset, and I think in most people's mindset, it's taking care of those essentials first. And by the way, yes, having a roof over your head, having food in your stomach, utilities, those things are extremely important, but I never could really wrap my head around the idea of pay yourself first, a term that I think all of us have heard. And early in my journey, I did a lot of reading and I came across the wealthy barber. There's a chapter in there where the wealthy barber is teaching his mentees the idea of saving first, and then you will learn to live on what's left over. And I thought, man, is that true or not? Well, it is true. And I've since read it, and I think the term first came up in the richest man in Babylon.

Amber Taylor:  

Yeah.

Chris Hawkins:  

A great book, and that's a theme that comes up multiple times in that series of short stories. The idea of paying yourself first, and then you will learn to live on what's left over. And once I kind of got my head around that this was possible and other people were doing it, it became a lot easier. Yeah.

Kati Hatfield:  

Yeah. I was always a if I have money, it's burning a hole in my pocket. That was like I couldn't spend it fast enough, so there was never time to save anything. Because if I saw that I had it, I was like, oh, well, then I can buy this. And I had to unlearn that.

Brad Nelson:  

Let's be real. I mean, I remember feeling like saving was just boring. It was it's just boring. Like I would rather spend the money, like you just said, Katie. It's like I your money's bowling burning the hole in your pocket. You want to go out and have fun. You want to see something that you want to buy. That's way more fun. But saving itself is just, it was just like meh, it's just not a lot of fun. So I think initially, when you get started, it's hard to get excited about it because for a lot of people, and not everybody, but for a lot of people who live paycheck to paycheck, including myself at one time, I was living an over-consumption lifestyle. So it was fun to go out and spend money all the time. And when you had to like reel that back in a little bit, it felt more restrictive and more of less a negative thing on saving, and that it was just, it's just this boring thing I have to do now.

Amber Taylor:  

I mean, it wasn't fun at first, but when the first emergency happened and I had the money to pay for it, I was like, oh that's why.

Brad Nelson:  

Yeah, it's pretty fun, right? Pretty fun then.

Kati Hatfield:  

Yeah. I feel like I never have to stress about emergencies. I don't really consider a whole lot emergencies anymore because I'm like, oh, well, I have that in savings. I can take care of that if, you know, a dentist bill or something that I wasn't expecting is coming up.

Chris Hawkins:  

Well, certainly I've had a lot of emergencies over the last six months or so. But going back to your question, Brad, I don't think I ever looked at savings as, oh, I don't want to save because I want to go out and buy it on X flag and Z. Because at that time I had credit cards. And if I wanted something, I'd just use the credit card to go out and buy it. So it wasn't a matter of, oh, do I save or do I buy something? Then of course it was the credit card bill that's, oh, well, that's gonna get paid. And all these things on the list are gonna get paid, and there's nothing left over for savings. So the savings just never happened because the math wasn't there. Yeah right. I knew that probably I should be saving and probably should be investing. Those were things that eventually really were the things that kind of got me thinking, my wife and I, we do very well, we do fine, and we should have more to show for it. And maybe I should be looking for a different way to manage my money. And that sort of really began my serious journey towards getting out of debt. But savings was more of, oh, just it's it'd be nice to have one if I did, but I didn't. Why? Because I had credit card debt. I had other things that were that I was spending my money or I should say paying bills with my money. And then when I finally got to the point where I understood what savings was for, and I had emergencies early on, and I had the fund in place, and then eventually got out of debt, then it's like now what I do with all this money, oh, I can save it. And then that became a new game. And I I've talked about this many of the times, how many different games that I play with myself to keep myself entertained, and boy, it it certainly works gamifying everything. And now it's a matter of how can I invest and how quickly can I do the next thing. And the next thing for me is something adventurous, something challenging. And I've got some stuff in the works that I can't talk about now, but I'm quite excited if they end up happening. Why? Because I learned the habit of saving.

Brad Nelson:  

Yeah. Well, well, what about this pressure of let's say societal pressure? Credit cards are for emergencies. Your home equity line of credit is your savings account, right? So how for you guys, obviously, a lot of you know, we've all been on this journey for a long time. How long did it take for you guys to break away from this idea? Because a lot of people who live paycheck to pay paycheck or who are just in that mindset of, you know, this is kind of what's always going to be. Credit cards are for emergencies or debt is for emergencies. At what point did you guys have like that light bulb that went off that was like, I don't need necessarily debt to rescue me from that? Because I'm sure there's a lot of people who struggle with that because that's just what we're sold from a marketing standpoint of debt and credit cards and all the other stuff that's out there. The financial industry has sold us this idea. That is the thing that you fall back on, not necessarily a savings or anything.

Amber Taylor:  

Well, I mean, it's okay in the moment, but it's you still have that stress, you still have to pay that off. So for us, just knowing that we had the savings and it was just done. It was one and done. Like we had the stress of the event or the emergency that happened, but then we didn't have the stress of the bill of the payment that was coming in a month or two, you know? So for us, it was really that switch. And it took a minute, but it made such a difference to just have that cash to pay for that thing or whatever was coming up.

Chris Hawkins:  

So again, it goes back to the mindset that I knew I should be doing better financially. And there had to be a different way. And that began a whole journey of reading and listening to podcasts and early days of podcasts. I should say actually audiobooks was probably more a better description. And realizing that there were other people out there who were managing their money differently than mine, and they were much more successful than I was. And so it wasn't a hard argument for me because I saw what to me were facts and what successful people were doing. And so it was not hard for me to say, I'm gonna get rid of my credit cards, I'm gonna stop using them for that purpose, and I'm gonna try something different. Because I very quickly bought into the idea that my method wasn't working. Now, again, it took me several tries to get my traction and do it the way that I sort of do it now because I overcomplicated things, I tried to be too sophisticated and ended up not working, and then I had to go back to the square one. But the dream and the goal of always doing it a different way, once I kind of set my mind to it, was there. I realized though that for a lot of folks that's not easy. And I think there's some folks that will argue to the end of their life that they have to have a credit card and that the only way to live life is with a credit card. And I guess my appeal to those of you out there, you know, specifically to Brad's question about how hard was it for me to change my mindset, is give it a try. Give it a try, go six months, and I think you're gonna find yourself in a much, much better position afterwards. But for me, it wasn't a hard argument in my mind when I looked at the facts.

Kati Hatfield:  

And I would say if you think that credit cards are for emergencies, what is going to constitute an emergency? Because a lot of things just happen, and you're like, oh, well, we'll just put it on the credit card, and then it could be things that aren't really emergencies that you're using it for. When you have a savings account, and that's okay, is this an emergency where I have to dip into this? Then you kind of are like, all right, well, we can put this much cash towards it or whatever the situation happens to be.

Brad Nelson:  

When we first started, and for me, when I first started, I felt like a lot of people I don't have any wiggle room, I don't have any money to save. It's just this is just gonna be impossible to think about having a couple thousand dollars and just a savings account seemed like just this impossible feat. I'm never gonna get there. So, can you guys share a little bit when you guys first started got started? Because obviously people are listening to this are probably in very similar situations to when we all got started. What were some areas that you found money in that kind of surprised you that you could actually start saving money to start building this habit?

Chris Hawkins:  

Well, for me, I think the big thing was being aware. Aware of where my money was going. And that kind of helped me to understand areas that I could cut. But more specifically, I think to your question, the thing that comes to mind for me is I would have a food budget. What am I gonna spend at the grocery store? And we would create a menu. And then from that menu, we would figure out what ingredients that we needed, what supplies you know, we needed from the store, and then mark off the things that we had at the house already, and then next to what was left, a guesstimate of what each of those items were gonna cost, add them up, add the sales tax, and then we're gonna take X amount of dollars. Let's say we thought it was gonna be $103. I'm gonna take $110. All right, that way there's a little bit of room in case my amount of guesstimate's off. But if I'm more than $110, guess what? I gotta put something back now. We're gonna go with that one ingredient and one day and one item on the menu. And that taught me the value of cash envelopes and using cash to help me stick with one particular line item in my budget. And what I quickly got perfected fairly easily is the idea that I had money left over in that food envelope that I could put towards savings, or in my case, by that point, additional debts. But I would say if you're out there and you're trying to find a way to figure out how to save $5, $10, just start with a dollar. You can find it there. And then eventually you'll learn how to find two dollars. It's not the magic of I've got to come up with a thousand as quickly as I can. Yeah, that's sort of the goal. But you've just got to figure out how to get started, and then you'll eventually figure out how to add to it, if that makes sense.

Amber Taylor:  

Yeah, Brad told us that we had to save money. Um what would Brad do? That's what we had to do. When I joined, when we joined Roots, that wasn't the first thing. So it was almost like it was just natural, like, okay, so this is what he's telling us to do. So I got to go do this. I gotta save a thousand to three thousand dollars and I gotta do it in 30 days. I was like, 30 days? This is crazy. But we did it because we just got serious about it and we found things around our house that we could sell and really honed in on the budget and kind of seeing where their money was going. And we were able to do it. So having that support and accountability really, really helped to just kind of push us to go and do it instead of doing it on our own. Because we had talked about doing it on our own, but we never actually followed through.

Kati Hatfield:  

I had to stop going to Target all the time. I just had to back away from the red shopping carts and not grab a basket and wander down every aisle. But it was also food choices. It was like, all right, I don't need this extra bag of cookies, or just it made me eat a little healthier. And yes, for a while I was like, all right, I'm just gonna eat sandwiches and potatoes because that's cheap, and you can't do that for very long. Yeah, it's like I need tacos in the budget, so I'm going out for tacos at least once a week just to maintain my sanity.

Chris Hawkins:  

But but could you have done it for 30 days to come up with a thousand dollars?

Brad Nelson:  

Yes, there.

Chris Hawkins:  

That's the difference. It is achievable, so I guess our point. Yeah.

Brad Nelson:  

Well, and I think it goes back to, you know, man, back in the day, you're just kind of winging it. You don't really know what you're supposed to be doing. Yeah, you should be paying on, you should be paying on debt, you should be investing, you should be you should be saving, you should you got all these things going on, and so much stuff is going on in your brain, it's like you never really do anything. And so I think for me, when I first got started, it it was really kind of like what you said, Chris, earlier on is just awareness is going back and really looking at my spending habits. Where was I spending money? How much was I spending going out to eat, just anywhere, just being willing to shop services, being willing to say, do we really need this? Do we really want this? And it was amazing how much money you were kind of able to come up with. But I think the big thing that really helped me the most, and I couldn't do it right away. And I tell people this when roots or eventually know the goal you know, we talk about is pay yourself first. And when you're living paycheck to paycheck, and every dollar has a purpose of really going to pay payments and bills, there's sometimes not a lot of money left. But eventually you get to the point where you pay down your debt, and you can get to the point where you can pay yourself first and make yourself the priority. But I think for me, that was the biggest mindset shift is because when I was growing up, I mean, I was pretty much from what I can remember is always just being taught like make sure you pay your bills first, make sure you know you you take care of your credit score, make your payments on time, and then you keep what kind of is ever left. And the sad reality though is what's left for most of us, hardly anything, right? And so the whole pay yourself mentality really helped me shift to the saving mindset of I am the priority. Here I am working all of these hours, putting in all this time to make this money, and here I am paying everybody else, and there's nothing left for me at the end of the day. And so for me, it was like if I'm ever gonna create any sort of financial independence, any sort of real financial future, I've got to get to the point where I can pay some of this stuff down and be able to build my own financial life.

Chris Hawkins:  

Yeah, for those of you listening, Brian just hit the nail on the head. What are you worth? You've got to ask yourself that question. You go to work every day, you work hard for your money at the end of the day, end of the month, end of the year, what are you gonna have to show for it? And if you need to, go set up a savings account at a bank that's not nearby, but nearby enough that if you had an emergency, you could go there, right? And and don't set up any Zell or automatic transfers in and out and have your employer put $100 per paycheck or $50 per paycheck into that savings account. The important thing is it doesn't hit your checking account. And if it's not there and it's out of mind and out of sight, and it's a little bit difficult to go and get, you might just find that it stays there. It stays in that savings account, and you learn the lesson that ooh, I can live on $50 less this paycheck, or I can live on a hundred dollars less this paycheck. Give it a try. The worst thing that can happen is this month it doesn't work, and you have to go get that hundred dollars out of the savings account and use it. I think you can figure it out, and I think that you can make it work. But at least there's a little bit of a safety net if you feel like you need to go back and do that.

Kati Hatfield:  

I know I've grown mine from probably $50 a month to $450 a month that I put away all the time just because it was a gradual increase, but I had to start somewhere. And yeah, the $50, then $100, then okay, a little bit more is not going to hurt. Like I I have the wiggle room, and now I just automatically 10% of my paycheck just automatically, as soon as my paycheck hits my checking account, it goes 10% into savings. Like it doesn't even show up on my regular account balance.

Brad Nelson:  

Yeah. And I think that's where it starts. It's like you said, Katie, you know, you started out small. That's the thing that I would recommend to all of you who are listening to this who are just getting started, maybe feel like there isn't a lot of money there, is just start out with a small amount and see how it grows. And you can even stick with a small amount. And I've talked about this a few times on the show, but one of the things that I did when I got out of debt was I wanted to start saving money and putting away money for my kids to get started on early retirement savings, or if they want to use the money to put on, you know, for a house down payment eventually one day. And all I do is put away a small amount of money every single month. And every single month, I it's just automatic. I don't pay attention to it. I just the other day I go and look at that because I don't really look at it that much. I just put that money away. It's in an investment account, it's in investments. I look at it once a year. The other day I went and looked at it. I was like, holy crap, I like it's pretty amazing. If something as small as that can grow as big as it is, you know, my daughter's gonna be, you know, she's over seven now, and I've been doing this since she's been at birth. And going in and looking at that, I'm like, that's just amazing what you're able to do with just a small amount of money. So don't think that it has to be like this huge amount to make it worthwhile. It could be something really minimal. It's all about creating just the regular habit that's important. One other thing you guys can do too, and I know Chris, you guys talked about this in one of your episodes of Gamifying Your Finances and really making a game, Amber. We've talked about it many times when you guys were saving for your house down payment. You guys created a chart. Daniel and Lori, who are Roots members, they've been on our podcast several times. They became debt-free going through roots. And one of the things that they did was they challenged themselves. They came up with these savings challenges between each other, and they would give each other a certain amount of allowance, and they were allowed to spend it. It wasn't like, you know, you had to save it. It wasn't a savings challenge. It was, hey, this is your amount of pocket money or allowance for the week to spend on whatever you want. But what they did is they almost reverse psychology. It's like they challenge each other to see who wouldn't spend a lot. And eventually what they ended up doing was taking that money and putting that money into savings, and they created it into a savings challenge. So one of the things I'd recommend is make it fun. Look at your budget, look at the things that you were spending money on, and say, could we instead maybe not go out to eat for 30 days, do a 30-day no-spend challenge, going out to eat, and take that amount of money that you're normally spending and put it into your savings. Or it could be other categories. It doesn't have to be out to eat, could be coffee, could be anything, but make it somewhat of a challenge. Make it fun, make it somewhat exciting and to motivate you to want to do it.

Kati Hatfield:  

I liked the snowball stickers when I was first getting started. I needed that visual of like, okay, I'm putting this much toward savings and I'm paying this much off for debt. And it just, you just love to watch those snowballs grow.

Chris Hawkins:  

So in essence, it sounds like it were it was a savings challenge, but really what it was was a discipline challenge. Yeah, for sure. Or an accountability challenge, or I don't want to let my partner down challenge.

Brad Nelson:  

Yeah, and they got and they got serious about it.

Amber Taylor:  

They did. Oh, yeah, they got pretty competitive.

Brad Nelson:  

Oh, yeah. And they would report every week who won. And yeah, it was cool, but it's just an idea to gamify it, to make it somewhat challenging, to make it exciting. Again, they're both working towards a common goal. There's just a lot of things that you could do within your finances to take kind of the boringness out of it and make it a little bit challenging. Make it a game, and it's a lot more fun.

Chris Hawkins:  

But they had a common goal that they were both working towards together, and that's the fact that made it worthwhile. And they probably would not go back and change a single thing about what they did.

Brad Nelson:  

All right, guys, if you are ready to break free from living paycheck to paycheck, you want to reduce financial stress, build savings, and finally pay off for debt for good. But again, maybe you're not sure where to get started. Don't worry. We've got you covered. Simplify My Money is sent to you each and every Sunday to your email. It is your step-by-step roadmap to better financial control, and you're also gonna learn some easy to follow strategies to manage your money effectively. It's gonna help you make stress-free money decisions that are gonna help you simplify your financial life with proven tips that actually work, and you're gonna gain the tools and the confidence to tackle your financial goals head on. You can sign up for Simplify My Money by clicking the link at the top of the show notes.

Announcer:  

Let's talk about death, baby. Let's talk about your birthday. Let's talk about all the good things. Let's talk about dead. Let's talk about dead.

Amber Taylor:  

And that's how means it's time for the celebrations of the show. First, we have Vanessa, as of August 1st, since joining Roots almost one year ago, has paid down $46,202.19 and added $9,568.76 to savings. This includes an emergency fund of $4,635.

Brad Nelson:  

Yeah, that's incredible. And one year a $57,000 swing, which is absolutely incredible, Vanessa. Congratulations. Brenda Philhauer made sure not to purchase a takeout food from DoorDash this past week, although sometimes uses it for groceries that are in the budget. Well, that's all right. Hey, it's planned for. Great job, Brenda.

Chris Hawkins:  

And Misty, they eat before they go grocery shopping. There's another great tip. Don't go to the grocery store when you are hungry because you will grab that bag of cookies or potato chips. So she also takes the list and she sticks to it.

Brad Nelson:  

Awesome, awesome tips, Misty. Congrats. As always, guys, congratulations to all of you guys who are taking a stand for your financial life and are wanting better. Hey, we get that getting out of debt isn't easy, but with our help and with your consistency and discipline, we promised you guys this can be some of the best work that you guys do in your entire life. Thanks for joining us on today's show, and we will see you guys on the next episode.

Announcer:  

Thanks for listening to the Debt Free Dad podcast. Connect with us on Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram. Just search Debt Free Dad. If you found value in today's episode, please leave us a rating and review. We so appreciate it. For resources, show notes, and links mentioned in today's show, visit debtfreedad.com. Catch you next week.